Near the end of Happier Hour (by Dr Cassie Holmes, PhD) there’s an exercise she uses with her students (she teaches MBA students at UCLA). It helps to give a bird’s eye view that (while it may seem a bit morbid at first) gives such an interesting perspective, I think it’s useful for all of us.
It helped me think about the hustle and bustle of every day and pause to think of what really matters: right here, right now.
She asks:
How do you want to be remembered?
What do you want people to say, and which stories do you want them to share?
What do you want your legacy to be?
“How will you be remembered? What effect will you have had on the world and those you loved? What goals did you achieve? What did you create? How did you contribute? What words will be used to describe you?”
… Write (or at least think about) your own eulogy. “In writing this, take another’s perspective (e.g. child, spouse, friend, business associate), and assume you will live into your nineties.”
This can be helpful in establishing your personal metrics for success and highlights what you aspire to be/do. It can help clarify personal attributes you value most in yourself—what ultimately matters to you. It can guide you in how you engage in the world, where you dedicate your efforts, and ways you spend your time.
“When you observe a gap between where you are and where you aspire to be, it’s only your ruler that should motivate you to change or do more.”
“We found that those individuals who reported taking a bird’s-eye view of time dedicated more time during the week to what they felt was important, rather than what was merely urgent… when we feel hurried in our days, we tend to spend time on what’s urgent, regardless of its importance.”
This helps “you to take a broader view of time. Thinking about life overall will remind you to spend your hours on what is important to you, and not just on what seems urgent. This change in perspective could reduce the limitations you experience from being time poor; help you fight the constant distraction of your mental list of pressing to-dos; and keep your time jar from getting filled with sand.”
(P.s. The sand reference is from the JAR of LIFE analogy. It’s one of my favorites: see this post from May if you want a refresher.)
I love this exercise personally and for coaching clients because it brings in collective identities (parent, spouse, job, volunteering, etc) and highlights which ones are most meaningful to us at the time. It can bring clarity and focus to what matters most right now. Maybe things evolve over the next decade(s), but perhaps focusing on what’s most important to us right here, right now can be incredibly fulfilling.